It’s been said that good marriages have few surprises after the “I do’s.” As unromantic as it might sound, finances are a necessary facet for a strong marital relationship. What should a couple know about each other financially before saying “I do?”

The easy answer is: Everything!  So, how does one find out “everything” without seeming distrustful or appearing too demanding? If a couple is seriously considering marriage, then this information is not only germane, it’s vital. Perhaps couples should ask each other these questions:

1.  Do you tithe? If not, why not? Is your future spouse willing to begin?

2.  How much unpaid debt do you have? And, don’t settle for vague amounts.  Share your credit card statements and other debt instruments with each other. If there are large amounts of unpaid debt, ask that it be dramatically reduced before the marriage. 

3.  What is your credit history like? Actually, asking each other to produce a credit report is not a bad idea. They’re easy to get online by going to one of the three major credit bureaus:  Equifax (www.equifax.com), Experian (www.experian.com) or TransUnion (www.transunion.com). You’ll discover each other’s unpaid debts, late payment patterns and any legal judgments on record. If a credit history is “checkered,” you might want to insist on it being “cleaned-up” before you say “I do.”

4.  How much savings do you have? Again, specifics are important. Future inheritances don’t count! Does your future spouse systematically save any of his/her income? Has he/she opened an I.R.A. or taken advantage of an employer’s retirement savings plans? If not, it would be a good idea to discuss attitudes about saving and develop a plan that is mutually agreeable.

5.  How are you going to manage your resources after you marry? Will you open a joint checking account? Who will pay the bills and balance the checking account?  How will tough spending decisions be made? How much “spending money” does each get weekly? How accountable do you hold each other for it?

If either person balks at these disclosures, marriage in the near future might not be best. Anything financial being hidden is likely not good news. Remember, the fewer surprises after marriage, the better.

Chris Elkins is an area director in the Church Retirement Marketing Department for GuideStone Financial Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention.