COMMENTARY: Heading off teen rebellion

QUESTION: My children are still in elementary school and I want to avoid adolescent rebellion in the future if I can. What can you tell me to help me get ready for this scary time?

DR. DOBSON: I can understand why you look toward the adolescent years with some apprehension. This is a tough time to raise kids. Many youngsters sail right through that period with no unusual stresses and problems, but others get caught in a pattern of rebellion that disrupts families and scares their moms and dads to death. I’ve spent several decades trying to understand that phenomenon and how to prevent it. The encouraging thing is that the most rebellious teens usually grow up to be responsible and stable adults who can’t remember why they were so angry in earlier days.

I once devoted a radio program to a panel of "formerly rebellious teens" that included three successful ministers, the Rev. Raul Ries, Pastor Mike MacIntosh, and the Rev. Franklin Graham, son of Dr. Billy and Ruth Graham. Each of them had been difficult adolescents who gave their parents fits. With the exception of Raul, who had been abused at home, the other two couldn’t recall what motivated their misbehavior or why they didn’t just go along and get along. That is often the way with adolescence. It’s like a tornado that drops unexpectedly out of a dark sky, tyrannizes a family, shakes up the community and then blows on by. Then the sun comes out and spreads its warmth again.

Even though the teen years can be challenging, they’re also filled with excitement and growth. Rather than fearing that experience, therefore, I think you ought to anticipate it as a dynamic time when your kids transition from childhood to full-fledged adulthood.

© 2003 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by
Universal Press Syndicate.